Backyard Storytime with the Neighborhood Squirrel

Sherbie, there is a little creature with a furry tail bouncing around in our yard.

That is a squirrel. Normally they run away whenever dogs come outside.

Hey Mr. Squirrel! My mentor Sherbmeister says you should be running away right now, what gives?

Why would I run away from two fat white blobs with short legs, like you two?

I caught I squirrel once. I bit it’s tail.

I call you a liar. I have seen you move, you can maybe motor at 1/10 mph. You could never catch me or any of my brethren.

Sherbilisious, I know you are smart and stuff. And you can hear. But that chittering furry disaster has a point; you are not really an Olympic caliber runner.

Well LunchMonster, back before you were even a glimmer in your breeders eye…

What’s a glimmer?

I lived a few blocks from here, across the street from a nice old lady with a white picket fence around her yard.

Is this going to be a long story? I’ve got nuts to bury before it snows again.

Shut it you big toothed rodent, Sherbtastic is telling a story!

Thanks LB. Can you lick my ear while I finish the story? Great. Anywho, the old lady would leave nuts on the inside ledge of the fence for the squirrels. Once while walking with Engineer Dan I saw a squirrels tail sticking out of the fencing, as it was eating peanuts. It couldn’t see me on the other side of the fence so I snuck up all slow and stealth-like…

Slow I get but you are not exactly what I would call stealthy. I’ve seen cats out here and some of them are stealthy. You are just slow.

Can you go back to licking my ear? You talk less then. Thanks. I continue sneaking up on the squirrel until I am right under it’s tail! Then, it was chomping time!

You! You killed my great uncle.

Sherbie the hunter, way to go! What did you do after you bit it?

Well, as you know, I don’t have many teeth left so I couldn’t get a good hold of it. And that tail tasted like horrible; I have never gone after a squirrel since.

So MasterSherbert, I shouldn’t chase the thing in the corner of the yard?

Yeah, don’t chase me! Even though I wrongly called the other fat white thing a killer.

Do whatever you want, all this talking has made me tired…

  1. those crazy over grown pests! They eat pumpkins too! I just want to catch one and shake it about and then hide it under the couch pillows!

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