Bye Bye Beasty

Less than 10 months.

That is the lifespan of my genius BEASTY-stenciled, vinyl floor mat.

But there’s more to the story than a simple all-out floor mat fail.

On the Sunday evening following Thanksgiving, Sherbert welcomed us back to Colorado by wiggling like crazy, inhaling a handful of pea pods, and then puking.

On our bed. In the middle of the night.

Thankfully, I had placed a t-shirt under her mouth in an attempt to get her to stop licking her paws. Not so thankfully, that t-shirt was just the first of many things she soiled during her overnight heaves.

Sherbert’s upset stomach could have been caused by anything, but I suspect it was the tortilla chips. The tortilla chips Sherbert stole right out of a little toddler’s hands, over and over again.

Or the pea pods generously fed her by a four-year-old. Or, perhaps, she ate another dog’s bowl of food. It wouldn’t be the first time that has caused a belly ache.

So the following evening, when we decided, maybe, just maybe, Sherbert was ready for some kibble both Engineer Dan and I huddled around the bowl willing every morsel to stay in that mouth.

And they did. But as I watched her snort, and snuffle, and slurp at the bowl and the floor mat, I realized just how disgusting the vinyl had become (despite several washings).

Exhibit A:

Martha would not be proud.

What’s worse is that upon peeling the reeking vinyl back, I realized, fully, that the BEASTY paint had rubbed off on the laminate flooring – letter by letter.

Exhibit B:
Shhh, don’t tell Engineer Dan.

As luck would have it Grandma, who knows all about my domestic skills, just so happened to have a beautiful bulldog placemat at her house, in her closet, waiting to go home with me at Thanksgiving.

Exhibit C:Any bets on how long this one will last?


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