Sherbert’s New Year’s Resolutions


1. Do not allow them to take compromising photos of moi…any more.

2.
Gain 5 pounds. OK, 10. And all in the face and belly.

3.
Learn to get on the bed when they aren’t home.

4.
This may require learning how to jump.

5.
Call Shaq. I hear he’s very tall & can jump. He many be able to teach me a thing or two, or at least he can strongarm them into putting me on the bed before they leave.

6.
Scratch that. Call Shaq. Ask him to move in. I hear he has an even bigger bed than them.

7. Backup Resolution: If Shaq says no (he is busy with the TV), work on the Stare (not to be confused with the Stink Eye).

8.
Perfect the stare to a) get rides up & down the stairs, b) eat dinner at 4 p.m., not 6 p.m., c) cause suitcases to combust, and d) eat dinner at 3 p.m. not 4 p.m (slippery slope that one).

9. Banish Lunchbox. He’s imaginary, how hard can it be?

10. Sleep more.

9 Comments
  1. Good luck on your New Year’s resolutions, Sherb! If you need tips on calling Shaq, I suggest a convo w Scoots. I recently learned she was skypeing with one of my coworkers….

  2. Love that Sherb starts bugging to eat two hours early just like Hanna and Regan. Regan does the stare and grunt. Hanna has moved on from the stare to, “jump in your lap and sit there so you can’t do anything else so you might as well feed me now because I won’t leave you alone until you do.” It’s a long two hours. Maybe Sherb could take some jumping lessons from the Portland white dog.

  3. Sherb would be honored to take some jumping lessons from the Portland white dog! And Hi to Benny & Lily, you guys are super cute and up our Frenchie quotient. Raoul, you know it with those suitcases…but they’re fun to hide in, says Sherb.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *